Bolded=Impacted my playstyle and skills greatly

Early inspirations:
chocomint
Rafis
Vaxei
Hugofrost
Hvick225
WhiteMerami

Tapping inspirations:
Chino-
Flyingtuna
Zylice
ASecretbox

Tournament/other skills inspirations (recent)
DAQAO
stellasu
misha awa
RevengeWolf

Started when I was 11, was really enthusiastic. Switched to tablet in Aug 2018 and saw a massive surge in skill. Kept the same until quarantine hits, which was when I bought my first mechanical keyboard. Second pop-off started and got to Macau top #1 on 31st May 2020. Hit one very random 671pp (nerfed to atoms) on Chika on a random day in November that year and it remained as my top play for 4 years straight :tf: Quitted and came back for several times in the next few years (due to studies, ex, etc.), decayed so much that I got myself dethroned and gapped by other better players in Macau. This summer will be my last chance exploring my potential since everything about school after college year 2 will be hell :despair:

2025/4/30 while procrastinating for my bioethics essay (due in like 40mins ffs)

Update 1: Played lots of tournaments and had a great run grinding ranks (failed lol). Realised that I’m a tapping and reading fill in tournament and my streams have been improving by a lot (still there are rooms for improvement). Hit 2 top plays and one of them (start again 676pp) became my highest pp play of all time after 5 years. Therefore I decided that I would speedrun irl affairs and dedicate more time onto this game (and distance running XD) due to how much I enjoyed playing. Tournaments was massive fun despite being draining, and improvement in general just gives me shit tons of adrenaline.

2025/9/8 while having a zoom lecture

Update 2: Got 54th seed in OWC25 quals, 245th/480 in individual placements, which is 180+ places higher than the miserable 432nd compared to OWC24. Skill cap is still growing.

2025/11/1 with 20 assignments due and 2 midterms incoming

Update 3: Took part in a 1v1 tournament and got eliminated in a humiliating fashion. Now that I am not strong enough and that I don't have much time to grind, I'll just enjoy game for now.

2026/2/5 in the middle of studying tomorrow's midterm while waiting for my laundry

I consider myself as extremely untalented, not only on osu, but everything that I've tried in life. Wanted to be the best of something but I just turn out to be average. I've always hated being mediocre but in reality I can do nothing about it. I know for a fact that I'd perform better if I'm more confident, but I just can't find a way to do so at the time being. For now I'll just try to fix my depression and anger issues and get in that zen mindset.

2025/4/30

Constantly telling myself to do my best for the things I like or else I’ll just become old and disabled. However I’d prefer balancing improvement with hand and mental health by not overplaying. Anyways I have hope seeing myself playing at an even higher level.

2025/9/8