hi, didnt think id ever write one of these, but after jashin, i got a lot of people saying lots of things about the map itself, and about me. it got me thinking about why i map, and what my goals are, as well as my perspective on ranking maps, my perception of the community and its reception of maps.

first off, why do i map? id like to believe i map purely to satisfy my own creative itch. i have ideas, and i just have to realize them in the editor. if they work out how i imagined, thats great and it gives me a push to finish the full map, if not then it goes into the pile of unfinished sewage waste.

now, that being said, its undeniable that community reception, feedback and praise doesnt play a part in why i create. if i enjoy something, and it gets positive feedback, i think its pretty human to feel driven to continue what gives the brain a rush of positives. however, i dont think that the community reception, and those positives play a part in what i create, as in what kind of maps.

whenever one of my maps take off a bit and gets played by a bunch of top players, streamers, etc. it obviously feels cool to see my map on the big screen, and even cooler seeing these players play what i create so competently but, i dont think this dictates what i create next. while its a cool feeling, and its fun watching them play what ive spent so long creating, that isnt what motivates me to hop back into the editor. there are exceptions, of course, sometimes i make a map specifically for someone, or i just happen to have another song where the same concept would work well, and i have the motivation from a previous map, but this all stems from my own personal desire to express my vision of the song in the editor, and isnt rooted in the reception and potential validation from the community. what could come of the map after the fact is just a bonus, while being able to visualize and express my vision in a satisfactory way is the goal.

it seems like some people believe i map to get known, or to make good clip farm maps or some other stuff as well, but these are never my intention. much like the star ratings of my maps, i dont make for anything past my creative vision for the song. the star rating is a biproduct, and whatever else the community does with it is just a bonus.

from a long time ago, ive hardly tried to actively rank my maps. obviously in the start i tried, that seems like the default path u take like u wanna rank something and thats chill, but now, i really dont care. even my first ranked map, was not mapped to be ranked, i had no intentions of trying to. ghost and lowermost revolt both ended up getting ranked, kind of unexpectedly. when the opportunity showed itself, i obviously took it, but i didnt go actively searching for the bns, the way that a lot of others do.

moving onto transhumanist, it was only made because i wanted to visualize the song, and map something that i thought represented it by sound, while still making it playable but on the borderline of whats possible in slider control. i also believed it was unrankable because i used accelerating/decelerating sliders in it, which it was it just was a bit of a grey area back then, so it slipped through. that maps bns also kinda just happened, a bn posted one of them likes or whatever on it and i just decided to dm them, and i think they had a 2nd or something and it went from there.

next up is both dreamin attraction and jashin, both of which had bns contact me directly because they wanted to rank the maps, which im very grateful for, but it reinforced the fact that none of these were originally intended to be ranked. its genuinely a bit strange to me that all of these maps have ended up getting ranked with such minimal effort from my side.

the only map i really wanted to rank, was playing with fire, and its still the map ive ranked that im the proudest of i think. would love to see some sick dt runs on that someday.

anyways, i really dont know why all these maps of mine have ended up getting ranked, or how ive been so lucky with bns all this time, the bn searching horror stories are everywhere. but i dont wanna just write about that. i wanna say at the end of this section that, mapping with the goal of ranking ur map, and only with that goal is something i believe is very unhealthy because u narrow ur perception and creativity to rigidly progress towards a goal that i think is less satisfactory when u go about it this way. ive said this a lot, but as with any art, mapping in osu is not something that requires validation to be good. if u think ur map is good, i think thats good, and within the range that youre willing to learn from others, and yourself to make future projects better, thats even better. at the end of the day, its a creative art, and its subjective, and i think trying to map to satisfy a system that attempts to introduce a standard and a level of objectivity in what is in essence creative and subjective, will limit u severely.

and on the topic of ranking things, and the ranked category in general, i honestly dont really know how to word my opinion, but i think that having the system be more lenient, as it has now become, is overall healthy.

the variety of maps in ranked seems to have improved, which is something everyone wanted a while ago, although now people seem to be complaining that the variety in quality and genre is too large, some maps that are too edgy, or too hard, or too experimental are getting ranked, and a lot of people seem to think thats bad.

i personally think this is great, and im really glad to see so much get ranked. now does it have to be ranked, no, but it getting ranked gives people more of a reason to play it, and it allows the map to find its audience more effectively. the obvious negative side effect of this is that it is also exposed to those who dont like it. the problem here however, does not lie in the map, it lies in the fact that the people who have a problem with the map make it one. were all entitled to our own opinions, and i think its important to voice them when we feel we have something constructive, or of value to say, but a lot of what i see is just negative opinions from a purely subjective point of view with no constructive criticism, and i think that is the biggest problem. if all ur doing is stating a subjective opinion as if it were an objective fact, then ur helping no one. generally it feels like people just have to be a bit more open minded and willing to accept change, and what isnt necessarily what they enjoy or like, and be able to move past, and focus on what they like instead of dwelling on it.

thats it, just a short little something. its very rambly so excuse some bad grammar and maybe loopy wording, sorry. im just writing this cus i cant sleep and it was on my mind.

im more than willing to talk to people about this kinda stuff, i can be quite a yapper if u couldnt tell, so feel free to message me if u have something u wanna talk about.

byeee