Fact 1 - I have always won at least one map in every match be it team or solo. Let's see how long this fact stands

Fact 2 - I have never won a HR map in a 1v1 tournament setting. Let's see how long this fact stands

July 2020 - Paper's 2v2 tournament (50k-100k) - Eliminated in Qualifiers - Team 'rank means nothing' with intrepidspiff and poisonmix first tournament nerves monkaS)

August - September 2020 - Dio's Dong T4 (50k-100k) - Top 8 - seeded exactly 32nd after qualifiers lmao. Managed to take 3 maps in a bo9 against the eventual winner Apsychos lol: community/matches/65403226. Lost against AO4ILukas and -Yukinoshita-.

September 2020 - Baku's Tournament (32.5k-77.5k) - Top 24 - eliminated in bo16, lost against lolboatz

October 2020 - 5 Digit World Cup (10k-100k) - Eliminated in Qualifiers - resident HD player of the nz team xd. qualifiers i choke hd1 so bad that my hd2 score was higher.

October 2020 - Tsuminii Tournament 3 (30k - 60k) - Top 16 (i think??) - seeded 26th out of like 48 players xd. knocked in quarter finals 6-1 oof

November 2020 - Paper's 3v3 Tournament (35k-80k) - Eliminated in Qualifiers - The new and reformed team 'rank means nothing' with intrepidspiff, poisonmix, Roshizzle_R, and NeoZips. Placed 24th or something in qualifies, were seeded 45th out of 50 so not too bad. shoutout to Joheen fc on hr1

January 2021 - CWT 3v3 Tournament (10k-50k) - Top 24 - Team 'sheep fondlers' with Dabble, Fasutorui, [ O Y O] baa, and [-Vibes-]. After placing like 42nd in qualifiers with me playing HR, won 5-4 vs seed 21 with Fasutorui joining in. Lost 4-5 in lb mostly cos my grip was killing me and so i didnt fc union tb D: krappa

January 2021 - NZ 10k+ Tournament [10k+] - 4th Place - I also tried the open category but got bodied hard. Seeded 6th. lost to the best in lower bracket finals vs dabble (pog hd gamer) 6-1. gl dabble rest of tournament!

February 2021 - owo! 4v4 Tournament [10k+] - Eliminated in Qualifiers - rank means nothing vers. 3 still fails to make it out of qualifiers, this time also had Fasutorui but he only showed up for final two maps xd

February 2021 - Villoux 1v1 Tournament [25k-99k] - Top 128 - lost in first round lmao by 800 points on last map (bo5 and single elim oof).

February 2021 - Axeanz' 2v2 Inconsistent Tourney [25k-99k] - 5-6th - Team Haachama (lmfao joheen big weeeeeeeb) with intrepidspiff and Poisonmix. Seeded 6th lost 6-3 in lb.

March 2021 - HoloTards Tournament #1 [10k+] - 5-6th - Seeded 4th but im so bad at this game rn xdxdxdxdxd kicked to lower bracket in qf vs frostice god. Lost to pigssaymoo 6-1 in lb including losing on zutomayo song rip.

Ok back to reporting tournaments i guess...

Jan-Feb 2022 - NZ 5 Digit Tournament [10k+] - 7th-8th - Well, I was seeded 26th after qualifiers so finishing top 8 is fine I guess. Lost to Rarth in UB 5-2 and then Flaming Goat 6-1 (managed to win 1 map barely this guy is insane). Did think i could have done way better in the final match though if I was in better form on the day.

Feb-Mar 2022 - Ivy Cup 2v2[10k+] - 1st Place - LFG, carried by my team tbh with _Ins3rt, Muralis, and krautstrudel. Won in the finals vs Cornell (Senpai's Kohais) 7-4 ggs to all and met some great ivy league folk! shoutout to host Crimsonness for all the work + sponsoring supporter etc and SenpaiGeo for standing in solidarity with me over zutomayo. also got to experience commentating for the first time so pretty pog. and to sum up in one word: foooooood.

Feb-Mar 2023 - Ivy Cup 2 2v2[Open rank] - Top 4 - 2023 has been a tough year for me for osu, feels like I've gotten worse in basically every category unfortunately. I knew that having to play open rank was gonna be v hard and it was cos there were cracked players. Honestly team with _Ins3rt, willstr88, and Chadol goes hard but cos we were taking it not too seriously/not putting in our best rosters we didn't do as well as we maybe could've. Was fun tho even if I died on every map

The legend of tournament team 'rank means nothing':

Around 10,000 B.C. humans invented the slinger, to allow them to throw objects harder. Around 400 B.C. humans invented the catapult, which allowed them to throw objects even harder. And shortly after the Trebuchet followed, which allowed people to throw objects even harder. In 1958 they invented the ICBM, which allowed people to blast objects about anywhere on the planet. Since then the evolution of throwing things has mostly been halted, until 2021 when a team called "rank means nothing" invented a way to throw leads harder than was previously imagined possible. - NeoZip 2021

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Look at all these 2's and 9's pog:

^sightread in multi beating both Dabble and Saiyku xd




^spam retried until i sniped pogssaymoo's score




^nice 0 miss tourney play hahaha

BEEHOME Collab



Padoru Squadoru Collab



Team Haachama Collab....... (Credit to walfiee: https://twitter.com/walfieee)

(probably won't be completing many goals anytime soon now that playtime is pretty much only multis and tournaments. also update lmao no goals achieved in 9+ months)

350pp
98.5% overall acc (don't really want to go any higher tbh)
Normal Uta Pass
Foreground Eclipse Songs Comp Pass
Tsukinami FC
UNION FC
Perfect Area Complete FC

6.5* FC
8* pass Real 8* pass
Cycle Hit FC
FC all top diffs of World's End, Girl's Rondo [0/6]
Genryuu Kaiko Pass
Have HD, NM, HDDT, DT, and HR be featured in my top 10 plays (3/5)

200pp - 4/20/2020 (literally same day as when i set this goal lmao)
200pp (non-TV size) - 4/24/2020
250pp - 6/14/2020
MY NEXT TOP PLAY WILL NOT BE A HIDDEN PLAY - 6/13/20 - 6/14/20 SHIAWASE
250pp (non-TV size) - 6/30/2020
300pp (by 7/20/2020? LOL, how about by 10000 plays? LOL, how about by... sometime in the future) - 3/13/2021
98% overall acc - 9/1/20
5 digit player - 4/25/2020
5.21* Uta FC - 5/4/2021
Contrail ~Kiseki~ FC - 10/28/2020
6* FC - 6/14/2020
6.25* FC - 10/12/2020
Cycle Hit Pass - 5/1/2020
Big Black Pass?? - 12/2/2020
5000pp in 10000 plays? and before semester starts? - 9/1/20, in 8100 plays
2000 combo - 7/20/2020
4000pp - 6/14/2020

(i'm a low skill cap player rip)

Sukisuki Zecchoushou - NiNo's Extra - 6.46* + HD (89.5%) - 03/10/20
Sakura no Zenya (Speed Up Ver.) - Tomorrow - 7.02* + HD (90.6%) - 04/23/20
My Days - Down - 7.36* (89.6%) - 6/27/20
Packet Hero - Extreme - 7.4* (85.5%) - 8/31/20
Anoyo-iki no Bus ni Notte Saraba - 7.46* + HD (88.0%) - 10/6/20
Unknown Mother Goose (Fantastic Youth ver.) - 7.5* + HD (87.7%) - 10/6/20
Oshama Scramble (IOException) - 8.7* (85.22%) uh this score is basically cheating idk - 08/31/22

Laptop: Lenovo Yoga 920 - can play osu with 2ms which is genuinely quite impressive, but will lag spike when multiple sliders are onscreen
Keypad: Some knockoff aliexpress keypad with bright LED lights and (supposedly) cherry mx reds
Tablet: XP-Pen G430 with the buttons plied off the pen and rubber bands tennis overgrip for grip

- Trying out Sharesies for the NZX, relatively low commission rate and free $5, going to buy a few dummy stocks to test the platform - 6/23/20

- Made big buys, primarily NZE: AIR after news on Europe but also used 3/4 of the budget on other companies largely influenced by the markowitz model i ran earlier. Also bought stakes in a couple funds to see if i can outperform them in these weird times with higher risk strategy - 6/30/20

- Managed to profit off of a superficial rise in NZE: AIR (probably over news of Europe accepting travel from NZ) of about 15% over the last 3 or 4 days. Held about 200 positions until midday today and now just watching the price plummet. AIR likely remaining volatile for the next while, probably more to be made here. Still maintaining a balanced portfolio of other NZE stuff with minimal changes. Will probably run another mean-variance optimization tonight before deciding what to do with the spare cash. - 7/3/20

- As Air NZ continues to drop and other stocks are stagnant/dropping, feels like prices are artificially inflated, much like in the US. Set a limit buy on Air NZ at $1.22 which might actually get filled in time but waiting for more news this weekend. - 7/11/20

- Made a number of buys on a MVO algorithm run with 3 month and 12 month historical data yesterday. Already gaining slowly and steadily with big thanks to Restaurant Brands NZ resurgence; NZ exchange looking quite solid right now. Also got my first dividend payments today from Fisher and Paykel healthcare. Portfolio has increased by 3.5% after commission since starting with Sharesies. Still paying attention to Air NZ, it's price is settled around $1.30 but if any more news comes in, it might be a call to buy. - 7/17/20

- Portfolio about to hit the 1.1k mark and it's still doing consistently better than the decently bullish NZX 50 index. About to have the CMC trading challenge which will let me meddle a lot more without needing a SSN. Uncertain times in American markets, anything could happen, paying close attention to tech, EV, pharma, crypto, precious metals in particular - 8/6/20

It might be the middle of exams and nearly christmas but I'm still making sure i have at least 1 play a day. i'm paranoid if i dont play for a day i wont be able to hit circles anymore. anyways, two tournaments coming up in early Jan - Chaotix 3v3 with sheep, dabble, Fasutorui, and Vibes and then the NZ tournament. Kinda hype - 12/18/20

I still don't have 300pp (( - 1/16/21

i lost 2 tb today sadge - 1/24/21

WE FC'ed 5* UTA (1st run was a 1sb at the end and then immediately fced the next run ) - 5/4/21

Finally I've forced aspect ratio for my tablet. hopefully in the long run this can cure my terrible aim - 6/26/21

man last month's pp rework really sucked - 12/6/21

im actually kinda surviving the nz5d tourney top 12 rn - 2/6/22

after 1 whole yr i have 2 new top plays in the span of a couple days. Imma stop playing maps that can spew out scores now my 50k derank dream is so sad rn BUT i do love that i have a yorushika map as my top play hope this stays for awhile - 3/28/22

Just had one of my best tournament performances probably. Very lucky though and unfortunate for my opponent - Lore - who posted some insane scores. Just happy that I was able to win against the 10th seed thanks in no small part to somehow getting way better at EZ over the last few weeks: community/matches/69172550 but i'm still garbage at the forbidden mod REEEEEE - 11/2/20

I fc Kanjou no Matenrou with 91.8% acc for first pass, probably the shakiest ive ever been in a long time. If i fixed acc to maybe 97 that would be 300pp (or 95% with HD hmm)- 10/8/20

I fc the 6.32* Stella-rium!! with 96% acc rip... If it was 97.5%+ it wouldve been 300pp but dont think i'll be hitting those jumps again for at least half a year xd. Also my highest SR fc so far surpassing 6.24* 5150 i think. This also happened less than 24hrs after ryuk got 1008pp on the exact same map but with hddt and better acc haha - 10/12/20

also rip my acc from my 3 recent plays (91.8% Kanjou no Matenrou, 94.7% Wind God Girl, 96.1% Stella-Rium) from 98.05% --> 97.85% (

community/matches/68438407 - funny match. Score difference of exactly 500 on 2nd warmup. Identical acc on nm1 - 10/18/2020

school has started and i have yet to 300pp. I will just practice interesting/tourney maps i think until i have more time to try grind out a score - 9/13/2020

And that was the end of my first real 1v1 tourney, made it into top16 so still pretty happy and met a lot of friendly players and refs so very cool (also i fced a nm1 in the final match LOL). Now I legit need to just grind HR - 9/14/2020

I reverse choke sendan life 6.46* 99.20% acc... shouldve been 330pp im so bad xd - 9/25/2020

1sb on 5150 with 96.96%. Alright fucker watch me fc with 98% soon - 8/2/20

ok so i fractured my ankle and i have a tourney tomorrow ellllllllp. i pray i can still hit circles tomorrow - 8/6/20

won 5-1 twice, hopefully my luck holds out for the rest of this tourney - 8/7/20

im actually so bad at this game how do i improve without doing "just play more 4head" ... - 8/19/20

I'm so mad/sad at my 255pp hidden Contrail ~Kiseki~ play. it was sight read attempt and i only sliderbroke cos i thought it was a break in the song... couldve been 300pp. Now i cant even get over 500 combo on it lmao - 8/24/20

Two insane nomod plays today 263pp guilty all the same 6* slider break choke (lost about 100 combo) and 279pp gotoubun no kimochi play (2nd highest play now) both coming from nowhere tbh. The gotoubun play in particular my previous highest combo was 500 but i somehow hit all the jumps with no shake it was an insane feeling. still no 300pp tho xd. yesterday lost 6-3 to AO4ILukas but was a really good tourney performance on my part, i wouldve still lost even if i didnt one miss everything tbh he's crazy consistent like that. So i have lb on Dong's tourney next week and qualifiers for baku's tourney just before semester begins and i hibernate on this game probably. - 8/30/20

New top play in a 263pp Miiro run. finally bye bye kira kira days. 3rd in nz score lol behind hdhr tommy and felix xd - 7/2/20

Sunglow HD 1 miss choke actually wtf ive never ever been close before, my previous highest combo on this song was 600x... I will def try fc this one day but boy that was a pog random af run and happy that this is the 2nd play on the same session to beat kira kira days for top play xd. also that necro fantasia 2 miss choke was also super cool that one is getting saved for sure ) what a day 3 200+pp plays = 60k rank to 54k rank - 7/2/20

i feel so washed these days, my aim is just atrocious. cant ever hold a good combo on 6* aim/jump maps. looks like 300pp is gonna be a ways away. - 7/15/20

tomorrow's the day my tournament career begins - 7/17/20

played pretty shit ngl didnt get any 500k scores for any maps, thought i couldve mustered at least one or two but i guess tournament play is just a different realm. am convinced can do way better on higher diff maps but might not make it with my performance earlier - 7/18/20

No more playing maps for pp until mid-August is the goal. Gonna work on parts of my play - 7/18/20

Actually got a couple nice consistency plays today with 5* uta 1 miss (2sb i think) and a 1 miss at the end of the Demetori song comp with 3648x combo, a new combo record for me by about 2000 which was actually somehow worth 198pp. Hopefully can improve more on these in time - 7/20/2020

7 out of 16 plays in the multi today were S rank which is nice seeing my consistency improve. Currently in wanaka but this setup is actually kinda nice - 7/31/20

improving feels slow and hard now, especially trying to improve bpm and stamina. Aim seems to be getting slightly better so I guess i shd just play more training maps - 6/4/20

Um did i just get a 211 pp sightread (it was a sotarks mapset tho... at least not tv size) - 6/5/20

Ok, i am going to start learning HR - 6/10/20

Making my tablet area like 3% smaller is improving my play so much wtf. also why does my first HD SS have to be padoru padoru... the curse of playing in friend lobbies i guess where the players r all thirsty for pp - 6/11/20

weird day of osu today felt pretty inconsistent but got my new top play on caliburne but i slider broke last note like a god. still havent hit that 250pp play :/ now my top 21 plays are all with hidden. i will only practice no mod and HR now - 6/13/20

SHIAWA MOTHERFUCKING SE!! - 6/14/20

meanwhile, i cant even pass normal 6* maps - 6/15

ok new grip = back to being a garbage tier player. also proved to joheen that I'm not gay but jelo is - 6/21/20

lol i just signed up to first tournament (for 5 digits) where all the players are 10k rank and im still 65k what am i doing... oh and i'll be in south island during the tourney lmao time for sexc improv setups - 6/24/20

OF COURSE my 1000th play of the month is a 245pp choke on a non-tv size map zzzz - 6/28/20

OF COURSE my last play of the month is a 257pp fc on a non-tv size map that is worth a fraction of a pp less than kira kira days. Still stoked I held combo on a 5.5 min map like this ngl and also a 230pp hidden play on short tsukinami Next month = tournament month (and 300pp??)

hitting the first stream on uta might be the most satisfying feeling ive had all week - 5/3/2020

Now i have two 5.74* FC's with hidden maybe i should only play 5.74* maps - 05/09/20

HAHAHAHAHA my 227pp stella-rium sightread mustve been the shakiest luckiest fc of all time - 05/13/20

God forgive me for i have farmed a tv size map. BUT in my defense Oyasumi is a pog bop and it was sightread attempt too - 5/25/20

well to think that 8/9 of my top plays are from this month and only 3 are tv size. maybe im improving hm = 5/1/2020

5000 plays but not even 5000pp kekw - 4/29/2020200pp play by end of april thx - 4/20/2020

3/28/22 - Thoughtcrime - 320pp
3/25/22 - Dark Flight Dreamer - 305pp
3/13/21 - Uso no Hibana - 304pp
12/04/20 - SANTA SAN - 299pp
11/17/20 - Bull's Eye (TV Size) - 296pp
11/17/20 - Bull's Eye (TV Size) - 285pp
10/28/20 - Contrail ~Kiseki~ 284pp
7/02/20 - Sunglow 282pp
7/02/20 - Miiro 263pp
6/14/20 - Kira Kira Days 257pp
6/13/20 - Caliburne 244pp
4/24/20 - Mizuoto to Curtain 242pp
4/20/20 - No Title 229pp
4/18/20 - Beat Syncer 187pp
2/25/20 - Friendzoned 185pp