This piece has easily been the most stress inducing drawings ive ever done, not even just osu drawings just in general. I was honestly kind of nervous about it the whole time i was drawings it, i knew it was a pretty ambitious sketch, and i was confident with the lineart and composition, but i was so nervous about fully rendering it to fit my vision. tbh i havent felt so shitty about a piece in a long time, the day before this was due i just about gave up because i just couldnt get it to fit my standard of quality, and it was due the next morning so i was pretty stressed and unsure if i wanted to keep trying and risk failing, or just give up and accept the feelings of defeat, although i was already feeling pretty defeated all that day. luckily due to some stubbornness and then some reassurance from friends i did end up locking in that night and the morning before it was due and well, im happy and relieved its done but im really unsure how i feel about it overall, still not sure i like it or not :/ people say they like it so maybe im just too in my own head or something. Part of me wishes i had one more day but i probly wouldve just procrastinated another day. maybe ill end up touching it up later just for my own sake. im rambling at this point now so blah blah anyways yaeh overall im glad i did this, did something different yet again at the very least and i am at least proud i did finish it. hoping to get top 20 to cross that goal off. gonna ramble more when voting finishes.
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Ive been thinking about this a lot over the last few days and looking at this again i gotta say that i am quite proud of myself, obviously it may not have reached my perfect omega amazing quality standard but like, of course it didnt, i havent drawn let alone finished a piece in months, so, despite the lost opportunity to polish it more in time i can say i really made something i am happy with and most of it was done in a crunch like the day before and morning of the submission date. These kind of moments make me ponder on my relationship to art and drawing, because i do genuinely have fun and enjoy the artistic process, but only like twice a year lol. it annoys me that its so difficult for me to push myself to make art despite me genuinely loving it, its just not something you can really *force* yourself to do. finding that middle ground between pushing myself to create and not being hard on myself for NOT creating is extremely difficult. i guess thats jsut the classic modern artist dilemma. or maybe just me. All in all i need to stop being such a perfectionist, remind myself its not that deep, to trust the process with big illustrations like this, and to freaking have fun, this aint my job i just gotta have fun. Pretty banal conclusions but this art thing will have you relearning shit over and over and over. Thats why its fun. Shits hard as fuck though. Like fucked up style difficult. i dont know why im yapping so hard. i just have nowhere else to put this to be honest. if u read this far message me "shrimp taco".
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Ok i touched it up with small revisions and i am at peace now. straight up zen mode
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22nd. one placement higher than last year, but not enough. lowkey kinda sad but its ok i go next

I'm really happy with this considering I only had like 6 days, the previous summer background took me the full 20 days to complete. I did a lot of playing with this one, just playing with texture and color and letting myself get wacky because of the time crunch. I find doing these submissions very rewarding, it gives me prompts I normally would never try and I always enjoy the process and also the thought of my art being in game is a pretty big motivation too lol. I was pretty inspired by this and this, definitely something a bit out of my comfort zone and it makes me want to do more digital pieces just for myself. hopefully I can get top 15 this time or if not beat my last placement but if not idk ig I'll just draw boobs next time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

23rd!! beat my last placement and got picked by ppy again (thx bossman). yayyyy

there's a lot id change about this one looking at it now, I'm still extremely happy how it turned out considering how I still feel so so noob at digital coloring and stuff. don't even care if this wins or not I'm just impressed with myself on this one. hopefully I keep improving at digital art. I want to keep submitting these and improving. if I don't get in on this one I will on a future one.

27th, got peppy pick, still counts, I guess, ill take it
still want top 15

first time trying to enter, I could've done this idea so much better but I think I just procrastinated and didn't know digital art at all really