So... i found out i am in the early stages of carpal tunnel... yay.

I guess i will have to be taking a break for now. I cant do much of anything, and its only in my right hand (primarily because i use it for GD, osu, aiming, speedcubing, etc), so its pretty fucked.

But one thing i've always struggled with was my left hand's tapping and speed. What will i do about that? Well i'll slowly be working on single tap on private servers while i medicate, exercise, and stretch for my right hand.

To anyone, please, stretch your hands before playing games. This isnt really fun, and it makes my job much harder, especially because my hands are used a lot.

Recently, i have been diagnosed with BPD and DID. it is why within the past year and a half, it has been so hard to play the game, im hardly even able to because i'm hardly in a state where i even know what taiko is. but even though my playtime is pushed back, i will push myself to my absolute limit, even though i will go insane.

PTSD - dont want to go too far into it, but it has made my normal life incredibly hard, and even sometimes the game.
auDHD (autism + ADHD) - this has hindered my ability to do basically anything, having to find a new way to do everything all the time. I guess it can also explain some bullshit with me lmao.
ODD - makes my life overall impossible, had it since i was young, and even though they said it will go away, it never did, even 14 years later. people tell me its just a "me" problem, but no matter what, i cant do anything about it. sorry to everyone i have hurt, and sorry to everyone i will probably hurt.

i've tried to get help, and i still am, but i'm on the brink of insanity, if i subconsciously attempt again, i just want to say, thank you to everyone who helped me along the way. either through my mental health, personal life, or even just helping me improve at the game, thank you.

my body hates me, that much is clear. i have always been around 70-100 lbs underweight, which takes a toll on my energy, sleep patterns, eating patterns, and so much more. it makes my overall life hard, and even working a normal job hard. playing taiko is one of the only things i am able to do to bring me joy.

i have had chronic wrist pain for a while now, ever since i had to quit for a year because of my mental, my wrist has been getting worse. we suspect it to be tendinitis, but wont know for sure until we get a diagnosis, and honestly, i'm scared to do so.