wysi

9697

joined

Performance:: 0pp
Accuracy:: 97.67%
Medals:: 79

	Ranked Score:	1,804,087,890
	Play Count:	19,192
	Play Time:	215h
	Max Combo:	1,687x
	Total Hits:	2,375,969
	Hits x Play:	124
	Replays Watched:	0

S+

107

501

Colorado

Computers Drumming Percussion

School

History

About

Hello there!

https://etternaonline.com/user/Cytyzent

Lazer killed score grinding, so unless that changes, I'm likely not going to again.

No major goals, just going to play whatever/whenever I feel like, occasionally try to push to my peak again, and just have fun. Maybe actually get closer to Tachyon before my old man body gives out.

I mostly play when I'm at work (yes, that is actually a thing), as it helps keep me awake for the long nights of doing nothing.

1. Old stuff

The drop down below was something I did as both a commemoration of how things in my life had gone, and how I had transformed over the years. tl;dr, broke up from an 8 year relationship just before the wedding, collapsed emotionally/mentally, and game helped me.

2 Years and what its meant.

Today is 20/5/18, which means I've been actively playing 4k for a solid 2 years straight. I think at most, there's been 20 days that I didn't play at all. While you may say I'm addicted, it's just I've enjoyed this game since. Maybe not o!m specifically, but 4k. I've met some incredible people, ones I can now call friends. I probably would have quit if it wasn't for them. While I don't want to reveal everything, this game did help save my life.

When I first started, I was still engaged to this girl that I was with for 7.5 years already. Things weren't going well anymore, and I decided not only to call off the wedding, but the relationship. And while things were okay for the time being, I look back and realize that I was just slowly deteriorating. It blew up, when I tried to get back together with her (word of advice, never NEVER, NEVER do this) and it literally all fell apart for me. She didn't outright reject me, instead, delayed things, trying to figure it out herself. Which, while wasn't her intention, didn't give me any closure when I'm not in a stable state. Her delay meant that I was still lingering on her, still anticipating getting back with her, and even worse, expecting it. That feeling when you hype it up, and when it doesn't come to fruition is one thing, this was a whole other nightmare. Meanwhile, I'm hitting suicidal.

I want to specify here, that it wasn't because of her, it was actually that I didn't build up my own self-worth and importance on my own. That instead, I justified my importance because I had someone in a relationship. When I split with her, I didn't have that anymore; I was anything but a whole person. Without knowing it, my entire state of self was entirely dependent on her. That I am a great person because someone loves me, someone cares about me, that I matter to someone. Instead of realizing that I am great because I am, I am awesome for my own merits. When you lose that one thing keeping you in that state of self-worth, and then you throw it away, you also throw your self-importance away.

The friends and family I had, helped me through it. I found therapy. But, this game was there through all of it. I was able to learn to be me again, to enjoy something for countless hours, all the while setting goals, and challenges for myself. It may sound really dumb to most people, but it wasn't the game, it was that I finally had a tool to grow myself again, to finally start becoming a whole person. I still play because I enjoy it, but it also helps me realize I can look at the horizon in life, and follow through with things.

Guess I landed up just letting it all out, and I'll bet plenty of people think I'm just a dumb kid. And maybe I am. But after two years, I don't regret a thing.

Past that, it's been nearly a decade since I started o!m, let alone osu! in general. It's been a long ass time. I'm already 31, never having kids, still support my failing mother, and other shit. Basically, I'm an old man now compared to the plethora of zoomers this game is infested with. I still just play to have fun, enjoy getting PBs, and seeing what else is there I can do. Quite often I hit things I'm surprised by, and get annoyed by the things I hit once before and struggle to reobtain. Either way, it's been a good time, and I don't see myself hard quitting any time soon. I'm not that kind of person.

I could have removed that story from 2018, but I felt like it might as well stay here until I die, this game dies, or my interest does. It's kind of interesting to me wondering what happens first, considering how old I am, likely the first option kek.

#Cyt on discord, send a non-braindead type message or I'll just block you.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Some Stuff

Started playing Mania 20/5/16

Goals:
Top 10k [X] 11/7/16
200pp play [X] 8/7/16
3000pp total [X] 25/7/16
300pp play [X] 10/8/16
4000pp total [X] 14/8/16
Top 5k [X] 24/8/16
Top 4k [X] 14/10/16
5000pp total [X] 18/10/16
Top 3k [X] 12/1/17
400pp play [X] 7/2/17 Galaxy Collapse 90.53% 688,277
6000pp total [X] 9/2/17 (may change when they finally fix DT)
Top 2.5k [X] 31/5/17
7000pp total [X] 18/6/17
500pp play [X] 21/9/17 (GC even though I didn't want to beat it again until I beat 7th, but I'm so mind blocked on 7th it isn't funny.)
8000pp [X] 30/10/17
600pp play [X] 27/11/17 (T&R I'm a dirty pp farmer ;_;)
Top 2k [X] 27/11/17
Top 100 US [x] 4/12/17
9000pp [X]4/12/17
700pp play [X]4/3/18 (T&R again, I'm a dirty boy T_T)
10000pp [X] 2/5/18
800pp play [X] 2/5/18 (T&R.... I regret everything....)
Top 1k [X] 15/10/18

(5/16/18 Mania PP change)
**EVERYTHING IS BROKEN AND I DON'T REALLY CARE**
No but seriously, calm the fuck down people, the system in place was shit, and we needed a change. I can't wait for when there is a massive overhaul of it all, and maybe this game will accurately represent skill = rank. Maybe, maybe one day, that day is not soon.

Let's see how far I can go.