game feels easier after playing taiko no tatsujin switchi verzion. on a different note, my brain is a mess and im scared of reality. also feels easier while other background music is going. my brain is a compartmentalized mess that messes itself up for the sake of confusion and order and bs. holy crap my brain is actually a mess i used to be so much more self aware and know what not to do but now im just oversharing and emotionally "compromised" and a mess. self diagnosed BPD leads to self fulfilling those symptoms but . but. anyway i'd rather not have people reading this this is so personal i have lost my mind. and my life is a ruin.

4000 performance points after losing PP from turning an A score low combo into a B score high combo (thank god, someday IRL) 12.27.23 8572 global, 874 america
>98% accuracy 12.27.23 as of now

97.96 acc 8.23.2025
global rank 9419 8.23.25
country rank 1012 8.23.25
4125 performance points, still using classic mode (cant figure out how to transfer files to osu lazer)

goals
-5000 performance points
->98.5% accuracy
-S all played maps with A B C D clears
-Rank 500 america, rank 5000 world
subgoals
-improve all patterns, especially non-dominant hand, especially 2's, 3-1-3's, dense 4's, 5's like KDDDK DKKKD DDDKD KKKDK etc, 6's/7's, basically everything still needs work
-improve streams and increase bpm tapping and reading speed
-stay relaxed but good posture
-starting patterns with nondominant hand subconsciously, especially blue note/kata dominant patterns
-staying accurate with 3's and other lazyiness (no overlooked 100s)
-learning to drum with force lv.5 for fun (tough to know when to double bounce stick, try to triple bounce or no? like learning full-alt all over again with sticks instead of 4 fingers), frustrated that lv.5 doesnt register big hits afaik
-improving with switch game(s)---bummed i didnt play in 2020 and have nintendo online and get free extra dlc songs for playing online, there are some songs on there that aren't on here, etc. not that bummed but kinda


what is life omfg what is life